Friday, September 28, 2007

練習1(draft1)

I live in Taipei and work as a volunteer in a hospital. It really feels good to get the opportunity to help people. Yesterday morning, an old woman walked into the hospital with a smile on her face. To my surprise, she wore a wedding dress and held up a bunch of flowers. I felt curious and I was eager to know what happened. By asking others, I knew yesterday was her wedding anniversary.

Forty years ago, she was preparing for getting married, waiting for the coming of the next day with delight like the newly wed. Suddenly, she heard a piece of bad news that her husband's car had lost control and rushed into the residence. From then on, she turned up in the hospital everyday,because her husband wouldn't wake up again unless there was a miracle. Although the opportunity of his recover is so littleness, she still wants to be her husband's bridge throughout her life.

In wedding anniversary she wears a wedding dress and stay with him, talking about the sweet memory before. I admired their emotion such as faithful. During I worked in the hospital, I got many experiences such as pain, death, sadness, disappointment from the patients. But there is also filled with love, happiness and so on. We should cherish what we have and never ignore the consideration from others who are really love us.

4 Comments:

Blogger 郭包子 said...

題目是什麼啊??

nospital這是什麼東東?
she wore a wedding dress and help up 你是要寫”held up"吧?

我想問Forty years ago,she was preparing for getting married,waiting for the coming of the next day with delight like the newly wed.這句都不需要連接詞嗎

she heard a piece of bad news that her husband's car had lost control and rushed into the residence. 後面那件事是先發生的…需不需要用完成式啊?

Although the opportunity of his recover is so littleness恩…時態一致

She still wants to be her .......這不是發生在yesterday嗎?後面變成現在式了

你寫好多- -”我想睡了~晚安
恩恩!寫的很好~片語我抄起來了!謝啦

9:31 AM

 
Blogger 飛奇 said...

"In wedding anniversary she wears a wedding dress and stay with him,..."
昨天的事動詞要改成過去式啊

文意有點怪怪的...在開始你提到昨天發生的事,後面問了別人後才知道yesterday的一切,也就是說,你是站在今天的立場寫昨天的事,理應說昨天你還不知道anniversary這件事,可是後面卻提到昨天anniversary的事,這卻又表示你昨天早就知道一切了...

好像太複雜了...= =簡單來說,你要把第一段後面的"I knew yesterday.."改掉成I knew this day......會比較好

9:58 PM

 
Blogger 汶汶汶 said...

I got many experiences such as pain, death, sadness, disappointment

最後那兩個要用and連接起來噢

I felt curious and I was eager to know what happened.

逗點後的I是不是可以省略?(這是疑問句)

From then on, she turned up in the hospital everyday,because her husband wouldn't wake up again unless there was a miracle.

因為是everyday跟from then on
所以是不是用 現在完成式 比較好?

阿~~~~~~~
時式換來換去的好複雜,
我都看不出來是對是錯了啦~~~~~~
不過
mic 你寫的好棒噢

5:07 AM

 
Blogger :V,瀞 ”婷* said...

對呀,
時態怪怪的,
你應該


│---------│---------│
過去完成式 過去式 現在

↑↑↑
應該
要區別
現在你住台北
昨天早上..
四年前他準備婚禮 應該是將辣
↓↓
She had been preparing for ...
[將ㄇ??]

第三段一開始
時態就錯了,

其它都可以,ˇ

5:35 AM

 

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